Dipper, Mabel and The Scottish Cousin
by trystrike
Summary: What if when Dipper and Mabel went to Gravity Falls, Oregon they had a Scottish cousin named Darwin who also got sent there. No matter what, he'll be there to unvover the Mysteries of Gravity Falls.


**Hey this is my first Gravity falls fanfic so please be nice about it if it's not that good.**

_Scotland. My home country. The number one place to find kilts, tails of the legendary Nessie, haggis...Mmmmm haggis...ahem sorry about that, anyway where was why? Oh yeah, tails of the legendary Nessie, haggis and the 5th best darts player in the world._

_Too bad I was miles away from Scotland..._

"Dammit!" A roughly 13 year-old boy with long spikey orange hair, A black shirt with a green Velociraptor on it, and dark blue jeans yelled as he nearly fell out of the back seat of a golf cart as it swerved dangerously to avoid a gigantic monster of terror.

"It's getting closer!" A brown haired girl wearing a purple sweater with a glittery cat design and a green skirt screamed from the passenger seat.

"Dipper! You are the worse driver I've ever seen! My blind granddad is a better driver than you!"The orange haired boy yelled at the driver, a brown haired boy wearing an orange shirt, a vest, shorts and a brown hat with a star on it. "Then why don't you call him over and let him drive!" The vest wearing boy retorted. "Gladly!"

"You two stop arguing and start panicking!"

_Hi my name is Darwin Pines. I'm the one with the awesome hair. The girl about to puke is my cousin Mabel. The guy driving like a drunk hillbilly is my other cousin and Mabels twin Dipper. There's a 99.9999% chance we're gonna die in a moment but hey, there's still that 0.0001% chance right? Anyway I bet you're wondering how the three of us ended up driving away from a creature that's the stuff of nightmares._

_But, there is an explanation that makes total sense._

* * *

_It started when my mum and dad decided to take me away from the beauty that is Scotland and send me away to spend my summer with my great uncle Stan in Gravity Falls ,Oregon,America. But he tells us to call him "Grunkle" because "Great uncle takes up time and time is money"._

_Coincidentally my cousins Dipper and Mabel's parents had the exact same idea._

"Wow this attic is amazing!" Mabel cried out. "Is that what Americans call it? in Britain we call it a loft." Darwin said Iin a rather confused way.

Dipper walked over to his bed to find-"And there's a goat on my bed."

"I know who I'm giving my unwanted vegetables to." Darwin joked ad he walked over to stroke the goat.

"Hey friend!" Mabel said the goat when it suddenly began to chew on her sleeve. "Yes, you can keep chewing on my sweater. Ha! Ha!"

_I decided to call that goat Gompers. He was good for getting rid of Stan's terrible cooking._

* * *

_Mabel had no problems whatsoever when it came to adjusting to the new enviroment._

Mabel is seen rolling on a grassy hill over and over. "Yay! Grass!" She yelled happily.

_Dipper wasn't so eager._

Dipper is seen nearby Mabel reading a book looking rather irritated at a wood pecker that seemed to think he was made of wood.

_I was so and so because it wasn't that different to Scotland._

Darwin is seen drawing a very detailed battle between a T-rex and a Triceratops when suddenly Stan came out of nowhere and jump scared Dipper with a fishman mask which scared Dipper into jumping backwards and accidentally stepping on Darwin's drawing and ripping it.

_I spent an hour on that drawing..._

Stan suddenly began to have a coughing fit from laughing about it. "Worth it."

_Before that I didn't believe in karma. I still don't._

* * *

_And guess who had to work at our Stan's tourist trap, the Mystery Shack. The only mystery being why people believed all the lies our Grunkle told them._

Dipper is sweeping with Darwin while Mabel is about to toauch a jar of eyeballs.

_I swear they're always staring at me_

"No touching the merchandise!" Stan yelled after hitting Mabel's hand with his Magic 8-ball cane.

_Piece of advice, never trust an 8-ball. Last time I used one of those I ended up fighting a saltwater crocodile. The poor salty still has scars from that fight._

* * *

"He's looking at it! He's looking at it!" Mabel whispered excitedly as she hid behing a shelf of Stan bobble heads. I groaned and looked at the next boy to be forced through Mabel's hyperactive flirting methods.

"Do you like me? Yes. Definitely. Absolutely?"He looked around the shack quite fearfully.

"I rigged it"Mabel smirked.

"You are killing me Mabel. You've gone after like seven guys in the last our." I interrupted her strange flirting in an attempt to save the poor soul.

"Darwin's right Mabel. I know you're going through your whole 'Boys Crazy' phase but I think you're overdoing the crazy part." Dipper complained.

"And the boys part." I added as I dusted a container with a large egg labelled "Monster egg". While Stan told me it was just an ostrich egg painted green. I had a hard time believing that. I'd seen ostrich eggs. This is way bigger.

"What!?" She blew a raspberry at us."Come on you two. This is our first summer away from home. This is my big chance for an epic summer romance." She says confidently.

"But do you have to flirt with _every _guy you meet?"Dipper asked.

"You even went after that eighteen-year old guy in the king suit." I reminded her. The guy wasn't even handsome in any way.

"I thought he was a real king!" Mabel yelled back. I face palmed.

"Mock all you want boys, but I've got a good feeling about this summer. I wouldn't be surprised if the man of my dreams walked through that door right now."She turned to the door expecting a dreamy guy to actually walk through the door.

Instead she got Grunkle Stan. Having another coughing fit. He really needs a doctor...

"Ow. That's not good!" He said in pain.

"Oh what?"Mabel moaned as Dipper laughed and I,trying to contain my laughs yelled. "Surprise! You like older men!" Before me and Dipper fell on the floor laughing.

"All right, all right look alive people I need someone to hang these in the spooky part of the forest."

"Not it!" Dipper, me and Mabel say quickly.

Soos turned aroung from the ladder and eating chocolate. "Uh, also not it!"

I will steal that chocolate...

"Nobody asked you Soos"

"I know, and I'm comfortable with that." He said and continued eating.

"Yo Soos can I have some?" I asked "Sure dude." He tried to throw it at me but his aim was way off and went under the dusty counter. I cried a little on the inside.

"I'm gonna forget that. Wendy I need you to hang these signs"Stan demanded. Wendy being the laziest person I know, mearly stretches her arm a little to get the signs. "I would but I can't, ugh, reach it, ugh."

She is very respectable.

"I'd fire you all if I could." Stan complained.

Why shouldn't he fire us? I say go ahead. I didn't even want to do this.

"All right, let's make it... eenie, meenie, mieney... " Please not me. That place gives me the creeps. "You." He pointed at Dipper.

"Yes! I mean ugh... too bad Dipper." I really need a mentor in thinking before speaking.

"Aw, what? Grunkle Stan, whenever I'm in those woods, I feel like I'm being watched." Dipper complained. and within reason too. I felt the same way when I was there.

Stan groaned."Ugh, this again."

"I'm telling you, something weird is going on in this town. Just today, my mosquito bites spelled out "BEWARE"." Dipper said pulling up his sleeve.

"Mine spelt out "WATCH OUT"!" I added pulling up my left trouser leg.

Stan took a closer look at our bites. "That say "BEWARB" and that says "WAICH OOT". Look, boys. The whole "monsters in the forest" thing is just local legend, drummed up by guys like me to sell merch to guys like that." He pointed at a very fat and sweaty guy laughing at a Stan bobble head.

"So quit being so paranoid!" He yelled and shoved the signs into Dipper's arms who groaned and then left.

Jerk.

* * *

"Hey Dar watcha drawing?" Wendy asked me from the counter.

"Hmm? Oh Just this." I showed her my drawing. A reattempt of my drawing that got ripped earlier.

"That's nice._ Drawin_"

"Wow very funny." I retorted.

"Nah but seriously. You're really good at that." She complimented. I really enjoy being praised for my artwork.

"Hey Wendy, are you suspicious about that egg over there?" I pointed at said object.

"Nah it's probably just a painted ostrich egg." She said with a wave of her hand."

"That's just the thing, I've seen ostrich eggs before. That's bigger than an ostrich egg." I answered back.

"Hmm. I guess you're right. It could be a monster. Maybe a... Noogie Monster!" She yelled.

Dear god no.

"No!" I tried to run but she quickly got me in a headlock and gave me a noogie. "My fabulous hair! Ruined!" I yelled dramatically.

After about five minutes she freed me from the torture and we both had a laughing fit.

At that point we just asked each other basic questions like hobbies, stuff we like etc.

"So if you could have any superpower, what would it be?" I asked. "Hmm. Super strength. But you know, not all buff and muscly. That would look weird." She answered. "Agreed. I would have the ability to create and control fire so if I insulted someone I could shoot fire at them and be all like "Oh! Burn!"."

"Dude. That is awesome. High five." We then, obviously, high fived.

I looked at the time and realised dipper had been gone for nearly an hour. "I should probably get Dipper. He's been gone for a while now." I said as I began to walk towards the door. "Okay the see ya later Drawin!" She mocked me. "You spread that around and I will hunt you with hellhounds!"

* * *

**Welp that just about wraps up this Chapter. Now enjoy this first code.**

**lk qeb txv axotfk illh lrq clo klldfb jlkpqbop**

**mysterious whisper:three letters back**

**tristrike: john I know your a ghost but stop haunting my fics(*vacuums up john and throws vacuum into the bottomless pit only for it to come back*)**

**tristrike:DAMMIT!**


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